I am at the dining room table, and my five-year-old is in the bathroom. After a bit, I realize that the water has been running for much longer than it takes for him…
My old cats, Tom and Little, always slept together in a guitar case. They both lived for seventeen years and my family is still convinced that they were in love. Little was perfectly healthy when Tom died, but a week after his death she stopped eating and would hide behind couches and in corners all day. Within a month, she passed away too. They are buried side by side in our garden.
You have 6 tattoos.
Full lips. Good, strong hands.
You have 7 freckles on your back,
they map out the big dipper.
You have a scar on your left arm
you carved in high school.
The first time you pulled off your t shirt
I traced the line with my fingers and fell in love
with your strength.
You are a hero
for living from that moment
to this one. You never need to apologize
for how you chose to survive
Your body is a map I know every inch of
and if anyone else
were to kiss me, all they would taste
is your name.
i’m always, always, always the one who loves less and i don’t know why, but i’m waiting for the day when i meet some chimerical energy who makes me the one who loves more and destroys me from the inside out
Two months into our relationship you once asked me how much I loved you and I just said “From here”. You didn’t get it and you got mad and thought I was playing around.
Breaking up after almost two years together, I sent you a message 6 months later saying “To Here”.
You still didn’t get it.
you finally sneak into the dragon’s cave and find his treasure chest. you open it and there is just a macaroni drawing by the dragon’s son.
"ITS TREASURE TO MEEEEE" the dragon bellows
i’ve literally had an epiphanous moment of personal discovery tonight because of a series of thoughts that began with arabelle’s post. i am a genderqueer person (this was not the discovery) and a great deal of anxiety has been created in me because of my inner belief that you must choose one way of living. you must be male or female, and then you must be either feminine or masculine. there are no narratives in our popular culture for the inbetween. i am truly queer. i realized the depth of this pain when i made the connection that my inner anxieties manifest themselves in the belief that i could not be loved by another if i did not choose one side, masculine or feminine. fuck those thoughts and however they were placed into my head. i can move freely within myself between these two constructed poles of femininity and masculinity. perhaps even one day i will wander beyond their boundaries. i hope this is a step towards loving myself more deeply and letting love deeper into myself.